“Joanne Fedler speaks straight to my heart. Her honest, insightful and laugh out loud humor puts the craziness of my parent/teen relationship into perspective. With each page my heart cracked opened a little more, enabling me to see my teens, the world they live in and myself with greater compassion.

After reading Love in the Time of Contempt I allowed myself to grieve the change in relationship, honor my teens unfolding into adulthood and surrender more to the “big unknown”. No other book has filled me with as much hope, determination to “hang in there” and stay connected as this one.

Love in the Time of Contempt is not a one off read. It is my bedside companion, connecting me to the global book club of parents who also ride the emotional rapids of living with teens”

I was very excited to read Joanne Fedler's new book. Joanne writes so incredibly well; deeply personal, full of insight, wisdom, honesty and compassion. This is a book about an experience of parenting teens, not to be mistaken for a guidebook on parenting - teens (like we need more of those).

My children are on the cusp of their teenage years; aged nearly-11 and soon-enough-13. I am thankful to have read this book now....before.

Joanne opens with sequences of ego battering interactions involving teenage attitude; the shut out, the dissing, the rudeness and lack of consideration, appreciation and understanding she has experienced as a parent of teens; written with a sense of humour that has distanced itself from its former point of exasperation.

Once Joanne has gathered her parental audience, unified in their mutual indignation, she turns the tables, asks if we are ready, have we grown up, have we looked inside ourselves. She asks us to remain connected to our teens, not in a helicopter parent type way, but to reinvent our role in their lives; understand their need to be their own person in order to work out who they are.

Early on, Joanne touches on the confronting aspects of puberty and acknowledging the physical changes in our children's bodies, and later some scary stuff; drugs, depression, teen suicide. I have to admit, I had to put this book aside for a few days and steady myself - I was freaking myself out! Joanne also talks about the wins; how we will come to see our child express themselves, shine in light of their gifts and talents; and grow in confidence in who they are and the person they aspire to be, and shows us that the relationship we have with our children will not dissolve, but will, and must change.

This was not so much a book about parenting teens, as "a guide" full-stop; uniting parent and letting them know that our children's trying teenage years are not intended to be personal; there is simply a shift going on, where one can expect to feel a sense of grief and sadness, along with joy, and hopefully liberation.

I did not expect that I would become so emotional by reading this book! The final chapter was outstanding - a salve, and I haven't even gone through it yet! But I often feel the tension in feeling stuck and constrained in my role as parent, with my own time clock ticking with haste, and the over-whelming sense that this time with my children is also precious, and a privilege. I have often pondered that one day the rooms of my house will no longer be the safe haven for their sleeping heads; these walls, one day, will no longer echo the sounds of their voices; their bickering, their calls for "Mum, can you come here?" or "I love you", and at some point, my days will not revolve solely around their schedule. This is a time of transition, perhaps a wake up call, as much for me as them, as we both step into a new phase of freedom and independence, and try to figure out who and what our futures might become.

This is a wonderful, insightful book. I highly recommended it.

What a wonderful opportunity to be one of the first to read Joanne Fedler’s “Love in the time of Contempt”. Joanne fulfils the readers’ expectations of personalised humour and raw honesty in her latest book, Love in the Time of Contempt. Joanne amiably prepares one who is yet to encounter the teenage years and seems to raise the spirits of those who are already in the know.
When talking about “how the game has changed”, she tugs at the heart strings of anyone who knows the ins and outs of being a parent, and encourages great reflection of one’s own life. I was made to look deep within to recognise where I feel content and what choices need to be made to ensure that my parenting role includes some time to fulfil my dreams and aspirations.
Throughout the book, I laughed out loud so many times at the truth of it all, while feeling a sense of compassion for those who miss the affectionate, more intimate younger years with their children. My heart felt sore for the moments in the lives of these teenagers when they were alone and afraid, and yet felt they could not tell their parents. Joanne’s inspirational advice on understanding the needs of teenagers is imperative. She encourages parents to let go of our own egos and continue to let our children know that we love them and are there for them. As a social worker counselling adolescents, I have seen how alone and hopeless they can feel, and Joanne seems to get to grips with the essential yet challenging need of the adolescent child – balancing their respect for privacy with the clear cut message that they are never alone and that this too shall pass.
Her book is current, techno savvy and reachable. Thank you Joanne for encouraging other parents to delve deeply into our hearts to consider all aspects of raising teenagers, thank you for encouraging self awareness, and thank you for sharing so openly of your lives, in turn helping so many others to open up ourselves.