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The Power of Discord

The Power of Discord

why the ups and downs of relationships are the secret to building intimacy, resilience, and trust

by Ed Tronick and Claudia M. Gold
Paperback
Publication Date: 01/09/2020

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This original look at how to foster connections, attachment, and resiliency explains why working through discord is the key to better relationships.

You might think that perfect harmony is the defining characteristic of healthy relationships, but the truth is that human interactions are messy, complicated, and confusing. And according to renowned psychologist Ed Tronick and paediatrician Claudia Gold, that is not only okay, but crucial to our social and emotional development. In The Power of Discord they show how working through the inevitable dissonance of human connection is the path to better relationships with romantic partners, family, friends, and colleagues.

Dr Tronick was one of the first researchers to show, via 'The Still-Face Experiment', that babies are profoundly affected by their parents' emotions and behaviour. His work, which brought about a foundational shift in our understanding of human development, shows that our highly evolved sense of self makes us separate, yet our survival depends on connection.

Working through the volley of mismatch and repair in everyday life helps us form deep, lasting, trusting relationships, and resilience in times of stress and trauma, and a solid sense of self in the world. Drawing on Dr Tronick's research and Dr Gold's clinical experience, The Power of Discord is a refreshing and original look at our ability to relate to others and to ourselves.

ISBN:
9781922310477
9781922310477
Category:
Family & relationships
Format:
Paperback
Publication Date:
01-09-2020
Publisher:
Scribe Publications
Country of origin:
Australia
Pages:
288
Dimensions (mm):
233x153x20mm
Weight:
0.38kg

"This profoundly wise book sets out how the dance of connection and disconnection with attachment figures molds our nervous system, our emotional lives, our sense of self, and our ability to dance in tune with others. When we miss each other is when we truly learn to turn, reach, and connect. There are no slick tips for perfect relationships with your kids or lovers here. Just a deep understanding of how the imperfections of life and love can make us strong."
Sue Johnson, author of Hold Me Tight 

"A brilliant overview of our contemporary relational landscape that argues that what people - both children and adults - need most is the messiness of real relationships, with their conflicts, partial resolutions, and imperfect efforts at repair. In trying to make these things work, we practice attention, connection, and listening. We practice our humanity. We learn to put technology in its place. A book for thinking and for practical action. A must-read."
Sherry Turkle, author of Alone Together: why we expect more from technology

"Our relationships with attachment figures are often innately 'messy' and filled with discord as mismatches rupture the attuned, resonant alignments that are possible in our relational world. The reconnection established in the mismatch-repair process illuminated in this important work enables us to develop resilience in the face of the inevitable disconnections in these important self-defining close connections in our lives. This wise book will help many to reframe such ruptures as opportunities rather than troublesome burdens, painful yet important challenges that can actually afford us the interactive reconnection experiences that serve as the foundation for flourishing in life."
Dr Daniel J. Siegel, author of Mindsight, and clinical professor at UCLA School of Medicine

Ed Tronick

Dr Ed Tronick is a developmental and clinical psychologist, and the co-founder of the Child Development Unit at Boston Children's Hospital and the Touchpoints program. He is a distinguished professor of psychology and director of the Infant-Parent Mental Health program at the University of Massachusetts Boston, and a research associate in newborn medicine at Harvard Medical School.

Claudia M. Gold

Dr Claudia M. Gold is a paediatrician and writer with a long-standing interest in addressing children's mental-health needs. She practised general and behavioural paediatrics for over 20 years, and currently specialises in infant-parent mental health. She is the author of Keeping Your Child in Mind, The Silenced Child, and The Developmental Science of Early Childhood.

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