The enormity of the situation froze me I forced myself to sit beside him and turned him over; in his eyes I saw the void.

I shivered and closed his lids carefully; his face was perfection but for a red bloody gash on his forehead. I guessed that he’d fallen and broken his neck. I touched his cheek it was still warm. I could cry now, and I did.

I took his body in my arms rocking back and forth mourning with tears my loss, I kissed him. I imagined how surprised he must have been as he missed a step and fell to his death. The young are invincible only because they believe it. We will be one someday he’d said to me and those words seemed to echo all about me like some mad litany.

I turned him over and pulled his loincloth to his knees. I wedged my hand in between and felt the warmth still emanating from the opening. Without a thought I pulled my shorts down. I held his chest and we rocked together as I made dead love to him.

Beyond this I can only remember wandering the desert for many days drinking wine from my pouch.

When they found me I was told that I was nearly dead.

Near death wasn’t quite right I did die in the desert that afternoon. I was only a shell of who I’d once been.

I needed now to reinvent myself.

In reinvention I was able to live again.