Scientific research can be hard enough without the added danger of zombies overrunning your lab, or someone tearing a hole in the fabric of space/time. Not to mention inconsiderate people throwing garbage down the bottomless pit. Luckily your new Occupational Health and Safety Officer is here to keep the risks to a minimum, so you can focus on the science, and not on the impending death.

Presented here are the internal emails from the Henry Bishop Institute of Science, where OHS Officer Sarah Tanner does her best to ensure that when the question “What’s the worst that can happen?” is asked, the answer doesn’t have to be “Doom upon us all”.