"Everybody's an Idiot But Me" is Bernie's mantra for his comfortable, predictable life. These idiots around him constrain his greatness in all things, refusing to recognize his talent, charm and potential for vast wealth, fame and fabulous sex. Of course, Bernie cannot realize the biggest idiot is the one in his mirror until one fateful day when his world implodes and he loses everything.

Bernie's desperation leads to a great personal discovery, a talent he didn't know he had: a perfect golf swing. He embarks on a sex-filled, carefree and outrageous quest to win the U.S. Open Tournament. Only an idiot who's never played the damn game in his life would think such a thing was possible. Even more ridiculous is the great possibility that Bernie could find love despite all his troubles.

Only fate has one last tragic card to play during the Open. One last crushing blow as he's cheered on by fans who admire his sudden rise and improbable chance of victory against staggering odds. Will he find love? Could he be the next U.S. Open Champion? Will fame, sex and money follow him to victory? Maybe two out of three?

Only an idiot believes in happy endings...