Not all of us like the inflated expectations created by the commercial juggernaut that is Valentine’s Day. Whether your feelings range from charmed to irritated to outright offended, you’ll find a story of fiction that pokes fun at Cupid’s naked butt.

Enjoy a full novel, a novella, and a number of stories where, despite their aversion to V-day or their logistical issues with it, our intrepid heroes emerge victorious. In some cases, they never looked for that happy ending to start with.

Go get thee some on-sale chocolates, then, settle down, and enjoy!