My personal story about how I got into debt and how I found a way out. Debt from credit cards, school loans, personal loans, even a bank loan on my car to pay off monthly bills. I could not keep my checking account much above zero. I tried hard to get out of debt but no matter how hard I tried I kept getting further into debt and the stress, worry, shame, pain, desperation, and guilt I felt. There seemed no way out. This went on for many years.

I grew up poor on a small farm in the Upper Midwest plains of the United States and experienced multiple abuse in and outside our home much of which was due to my different birth anatomy. I had no idea how to manage money and was introduced to credit cards when I was a teenager. Money became associated with love when my dad sold a cow or pig and gave me a wad of cash. I was taught to look good at any cost and not tell the truth no matter how much pain I was in so I could never be honest about money either. My paternal Grandmother and animals on the farm-saved my sanity. As an adult food and shopping even credit cards made me feel better but these were temporary fixes and mood-altering.

In 1987 I found a welcoming group of people whose own lives were demonstrating that there was a way out that worked. I learned to tell the truth about money and myself. I was accepted. I learned new tools and how to put them to use and by late 1989 I got out of debt and have been debt-free since. I still use the tools I learned and maintain contact with people with whom I talk about life, my feelings, finances, and because I learned that to debt or mood alter when shopping only makes things worse and offers no solutions to my life or to life in general. It has not been easy. But it is possible. I don't tell others how to get out of debt each of us has our own journey. It feels good to not have debt or be hounded by creditors, and to have savings. It feels good that what things I do have I own free and clear. I don't live a lavish life. I live simply and the quality of life categories I was taught to allow to surface during recovery from debt, and now, I find to contain, for me, some real pleasures and things I cherish and value such as trees, classical music on the radio, and being a vegetarian. It is different for each person. I have also learned to know my numbers, that the numbers don't lie and to keep streams of income coming in so I am solvent even remaking my careeer.