If you've ever lived with a cat, or have to live with one right now, you know the trouble, problems, and constant annoyances these tiny, furry little demons from the underworld can inflict on your patience and your soul. If you've tried reading traditional how-to books that purport to teach you how to deal with a cat, you may get the impression that cats are reasonable and rational creatures, and the frustration and problems you’re having are all your fault.

Now it’s finally time to read a refreshingly honest, humorous, satirical look at how you should really learn to live with a cat. Instead of treating cats as angelic little babies, this book will portray them as they really are as the devious, mischievous, maniacal, and coldly cunning animals that are bent on world domination for their convenience, starting by emotionally and mentally enslaving you as their first captive.

In this book, you'll learn the history of cats, how to care and feed them, what to expect, and why you, as a human being, will forever be an inferior life form in the eyes of an animal who treats you with total disdain and contempt as you break your back cleaning, feeding, and caring for it in return.

The definition of "insanity" used to be trying to do the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Now the new definition of insanity is taking care of a cat and expecting even a tiny sliver of gratitude in return.

This humorous guide book can teach you how to really take care of a cat (usually at your expense) and what you can expect in return (nothing). For the first time, you have an open, honest, and truthful explanation for what to expect when you care for a cat, which even the big publishers are afraid to publish for fear of possible retaliation from their cats.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1 -- Meeting the Cat

Chapter 2 -- Naming Your Cat

Chapter 3 -- Making Your Home Safe

Chapter 5 -- Handling Your Cat

Chapter 6 -- Your Cat’s Bed

Chapter 7 -- Food and Water

Chapter 8 -- Litter Boxes

Chapter 9 -- Scratching Posts

Chapter 10 -- Cat Toys and Exercises

Chapter 11 -- Cats and Other Pets

Chapter 12 -- Special Care for Kittens

Chapter 13 -- Health Concerns

Chapter 14 -- Home Care For Your Cat

Chapter 15 -- Cat Anatomy

Chapter 16 -- Cat Behavior

Chapter 17 -- Training Your Cat

Chapter 18 -- Breeding (and Other Problems)

Chapter 19 -- Your New Life With Your Cat

Chapter 20 -- Traveling With a Cat

Chapter 21 -- The Final Exit

Chapter 22 -- Interesting Cat Trivia