I used to think that I simply had ADHD. I accepted the doctor's diagnosis. However, as I researched more about ADHD, I realized that there was something unique about me. I wasn't just a social misfit or a distracted person with ADHD. My identity had always been a question for me. At one point, I thought my identity was simply that of a "isolated being." It was so hard to fit into family, school, church, and work, and in the end, I made up my mind to stand on my own, even if it meant living alone and starving to death.

While exploring the world in books, I came across the term "Indigo Children" and learned about Starseeds. The characteristics of these individuals are as follows:

- Strong will

- Directly expressing what they believe is true, no matter the outcome

- Idealistic

- Intense passion in their eyes

- Frustration and anger over global events

- Excessive vigilance and sensitivity when sensing danger or fear

- Caution until the other person is proven trustworthy

- A firm refusal to compromise or soften what is important to them

- Trust in their intuition

- High standards

- Sticking to what they are deeply convinced of, no matter what

- Clear individuality expressed in speech, attitude, hairstyle, body art like tattoos or piercings, and fashion

- Independence (sometimes ending up as loners)

- Impulsive tendencies

- Creative thinking

- Easily accepts the darker sides of life

- Intuitive and instinctual

- Moody tendencies

- Extreme sensitivity to chemical substances

- Spiritual inclination without adherence to any specific religion

- Follows their heart's feelings

- Knows the value of enjoyment

- Respects people based on what they do, not their age, wealth, or title

- Enjoys music

From *Awaken Your Indigo Power* by Doreen Virtue and Charles Virtue

Surprisingly, almost all of these characteristics fit me. Sometimes, there are children with such developed intuition that they see ghosts, communicate with aliens, or receive messages from the universe. But not all Indigo children are like this.

For me, the most prominent feature as an Indigo child is the overwhelming impulse to speak the truth I feel, and when I don't, I can't stand it. This often leads to me breaking relationships or being disliked, but I never back down or care. As enemies appear one by one, and they unite to attack me, I burn my warrior energy, fight, and leave as if heroically dying in battle, as if being exiled from the organization.

I am also extremely sensitive in my senses, feeling others' evil or hypocrisy when others don't, and I am highly sensitive to chemicals, which often puzzles doctors. Even when receiving acupuncture treatments from oriental doctors, I feel the pain so intensely that it's reminiscent of a Hollywood action scene.

Additionally, I have developed a spiritual sense, curious about the unseen world, and I strongly believe in that world. I was drawn to the Bible, prayer, and God from a young age, reading the Bible 50 times and using prayer to overcome the pains of reality. I was always someone who felt a connection to God and the Bible.

The reflections I wrote after reading the Bible were part of my journey as an Indigo child in search of the Absolute, God. Born with the energy that could not remain silent when seeing people's evil or problems, I could not understand myself as an Indigo child who was designed not to harmonize with others. Life was so painful that I kept seeking my identity and God's will through reading the Bible, praying, and asking.