Right, here's how things are . . . My mother is pregnant. I shizz you not. My mum will be going around with a bump for all to see that she's still, well, shagging. Oh god I can't bear it - talk about a stitch-up.

THEN there's Stevie Lee Bolton - every time I see him I'm like a stunned goldfish and just stand there with my mouth opening and closing.

So between my untakebackably embarrassing family and a certain Stevie Lee, how will I be ready for Teen Factor X - not even my friends know about my dodgy yodelings and secret obsession with becoming a star . . .

Funny, frank and surprisingly talented with a pair of knitting needles, meet Jenny Q in the hilarious new series from Father Ted and Shameless star Pauline McLynn.