A Special Forces veteran and former Legionnaire tells of his military adventures—and of the personal battle that followed him home.

In war, John-Paul Jordan was the first to batter down the door, whether he was facing bullets or bombs. In the wake of the 9/11 attacks, the young Irishman set off to join the French Foreign Legion. He would go on to provide security in Iraq, serve his country in Afghanistan, and protect journalists on the front line in Libya. He was decorated for his leadership and bravery—but his biggest fight would come after he left the battlefield.

In this memoir he recounts the camaraderie, action, and danger he experienced—and how he later found himself of prisoner of war to PTSD. Dehumanized by the professionals he turned to for help, this Special Forces veteran and former Legionnaire was brought to his knees. His marriage was over; his home was lost. In isolation, his world unraveled, and the seeds of destruction had been well and truly sown.

Knowing he would never see military action again and faced with the realization of the war raging within him in the spiral of PTSD, John-Paul felt condemned as a man. But, on April 1, 2016, he surrendered. He asked for help . . . and found the answers within. His story is a testament to the strength of the human spirit: to get back up and to lead from the front. He did not go through all that just to go through all that. This is the story of his return to freedom and joy. Buckle up, because this veteran doesn’t do anything in half measures.