The world I first knew was small and orderly. And so was I.

So begins 'Lead Us Not Into Trent Station', Richard Guise's popular memoir of childhood in a Derbyshire town of the 1950s and '60s.

Mr Handlebar in the Market Place, sneezing thurifer's at St Laurence's church, 'Mad Ron' at the local grammar school... real-life characters pack these pages. We're soon taken beyond the Midlands to the hazards of university life, epic battles with French red tape, complete confusion in Spain, sartorial problems in China -- and finally back again to a Long Eaton that poses its own problems in the form of Bazzaranshaz.

This edition of 'Lead Us Not Into Trent Station' is dedicated to Geoffrey Kingscott, another Long Eaton writer with whom Richard struck a deal on the book title.

THIS VERSION OF THE BOOK CONTAINS NO PHOTOGRAPHS OR IMAGES AS I CAN'T PERSUADE THE SOFTWARE TO DISPLAY THEM CORRECTLY. RG