Stephen Walker hits hard with his surreal hammer. Eye-wateringly funny novel.

Wyndam-on-sea. Rainy season. Next Sunday.

Sally manages her uncle’s caravan park. He’s ordered her to keep the park dull; the town council – feeling that the resort’s image is being damaged by the liveliness of its caravan parks – has promised a million pounds to the least exciting park in Wyndam-on-sea. If that million pounds isn’t won, the park will close.

18 year-old Teena Rama is 148.7% too beautiful – and gaining a percentage point every two days. Soon no one will be able to meet her without falling in love.

Mr Landen has no brain. But he does have a tub of margerine between his ears.

These three facts are somehow related.