Stephen Sapphire, a film major in search of a Hollywood romance, discovers he is the heir apparent to the throne of Cordonia, a mysterious kingdom off the coast of Portugal. The current queen, Marcela, invites him for a royal visit, and provides him with a noble escort, the irksome, but irresistible, Terrence Rubino.

The Book of Trou, an ancient prophecy, says Stephen must marry the queen. His mother, Leocadia, a powerful witch, prepares a love potion to actualize the prophecy, unaware that he is gay. Stephen would much rather spend time with Terrence than the queen. But he may not get a choice in the matter.