Fourteen dark, humorous (and occasionally puerile) short stories from the crayon of Peter Coomber. A fusion of Saki, Dahl and Mao Zedong (OK, so this description is stretching things a little bit, but that is the nature of fiction).

No animals were harmed during the writing of these stories (except for the panda). Contains some strong language. Please hold your hands over your ears when reading these stories.

This May 2021 edition has been translated into English in seven different countries. AI software has not been employed; these stories were written by a naturally unintelligent human being.

Crime - It was the butler who did it but where is the proof?

Appearances Can Be Deceptive - I worry about sloths; nasty vicious beasts

You Can't Tell A Book By Its Cover - Ruth the librarian is searching for Romance in the library

Blood - There's only so much evidence a small Jack Russell can dispose of

I, Chimp - A zoo chimp has artistic aspirations, but little material to paint with and no appreciation from the keepers

Chin A Panda - A man; a panda; a fight - who wins?

War And Peace - War And Peace by Lego Toyshop. Peace breaks out with disastrous consequences.

The Writing Club - Further adventures of Ruth the Librarian

Simon - Simon the pizza delivery robot gets sent on a long journey

My Acting Life - On film with the BBC Natural History Unit

First Kill Your Mammoth - Stone Age man digs a very large, deep hole

Force Equals Mass Times Acceleration - A death explained in terms of Physics. '..Derek's little body was no match for the mass and velocity of the car, or the mass and inertia of the oak tree on the side of the A38..'

Together, Side-By-Side - A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Andy picks a fight in a bookshop.

Animal Rights - Police identity recognition cameras cause John to end up at the zoo.

"Short, dark, dry, varied, easy-to-get-into stories that make you smile - some quirky, occasionally thought-provoking and some that made me laugh out loud! A great way of filling small amounts of otherwise dead time" - Dave of Witney, Oxfordshire March 2018

"Loved every story. Catchy- interesting- short. Exactly what I want in a group of short stories. Nice variety! This author was able to be “different” with each story told. Similar to an actor’s ability to convincingly play a variety of characters. Thoroughly enjoyed. Highly recommend."

- BY, January 2022