How identifying what you want can reveal deep truths about yourself—and how working with those longings can lead to a happier, more satisfying life

If you’ve ever had a vague sense that something’s missing from your life, congratulations: that longing for something better is a sign of being fully human, fully alive. But what’s even more wonderful, according to Dave Richo, is that when you identify and carefully examine the things you long for—like love, meaning, freedom, happiness, and growth—you not only discover deep truths about yourself, but you also find that the things you long for were never really “missing” at all.

Richo provides enlightening advice and practices for accessing just this kind of profound self-discovery, illustrated by a wealth of examples from depth psychology, religion, and literature. Our longings in fact point to the presence of something transcendent in us, he shows. In seeking something better, we are seeking that which we already are.

“David Richo does a brilliant job unpacking the unhealthy versions of ego that confine us. Through psychological and Buddhist wisdom teachings and a range of powerful practices and meditations, we are guided beyond the identity of separate self to the loving awareness that is our deepest essence.”

—Tara Brach, PhD, author of Radical Acceptance and True Refuge