The second book of short stories from the crayon of Peter Coomber. Fifty dark, off-beat, humorous short stories with a twist. If you enjoy reading Dahl or Saki then you will enjoy reading these (it's a theory, anyway).

I, Chimp - A bored zoo chimp starts to paint on his compound walls.

Chin A Panda - A man. A panda. A fight. Who wins?

This Never Happened, Too -Nancy Beardsley's half-blind, deaf dog succumbs to the unstoppable wheels of a road-roller, and her new pet, George, with its ravenous appetite, becomes unstoppable, too.

Anthony - Tony was an atheist. Not for him the wimpish, effete uncertainty of agnosticism: he was a devoutly true unbeliever; staunch in his views, and active in his contempt for stupid, woolly-headed, God-fearing fools.

Birthday Surprise - Every year, George fails Mary on her birthday: “Look at these scurrying about. They're waving their antenna at us!” he had said excitedly that day, as he'd pointed out the ant colony to her. Ants. Ants are not for birthdays.

The Voices In My Head - The voices in my head told me to kill Sooty. He was - they said - an evil puppet, given to magic - witchcraft. Sooty must die – they said. So I tracked him down to the house where he lived with his five year old companion and his companion's parents. And while they were sat around watching the early evening television I shimmied up the drainpipe, climbed in through the open bedroom window and dragged him out from the box underneath the bed. He smiled that bleak smile of his and tried to whisper something in my ear, but I grabbed him by the neck and squeezed – until his glassy-eyes saw no more.

Biscuit - Carl and Karen's dog has bitten off more than it can chew.

A Lesson In Life - Alice the teacher explains the facts of life to her innocent pupils.

No animals were harmed in the making of these stories (except for the panda).