Do You Hear What I Hear?

"Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer, you'll go drown in Listerine," "We wish you a very crisp mess," and "O come, hoggy faithful." The master of the misheard, Gavin Edwards, author of the bestselling 'Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy and He's Got the Whole World in His Pants, has done it again, this time with a collection of bungled Christmas lyrics from misguided wassailers. Just in time for the holidays, Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly uncovers some of the most hilarious--and twisted--Yuletide blunders, including:

• "Just like the wands I used to know"
  ("Just like the ones I used to know" -- "White Christmas")

• "He's making a list, chicken and rice"
  ("He's making a list, checking it twice" -- "Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town")

• "Olive, the other reindeer"
  ("All of the other reindeer" -- "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer")

• "Round John Virgin"
  ("Round yon virgin" -- "Silent Night")