"Teaching Latin to someone like me in high school was somewhat like trying to teach a pig to dance. It's a waste of the teacher's time and it irritates the pig." "My daddy always said that a man who walks around with a smile on his face all the time can't possibly know what's going on." "I heard Senator Sam Irvin of Watergate fame say something that stayed with me: 'If you can paint a really good picture of a cow, you don't have to write the word "cow" under it.'" "Minor surgery is surgery that someone else is having." "They say that God protects drunks and children. I would add young morons to that list." Book jacket.