Written to assist those who have been in the family of a victim of paedophiles or worked with children who have been sexually abused, this is a personal account of how it feels to be suffering from a state of post traumatic stress disorder caused by being a primary or secondary victim of systematic paedophile abuse. For over 20 years the author has worked professionally with and also fostered child and adolescent victims of paedophile abuse. Some years ago she began to suffer from post traumatic disorder and brought herself through to recovery.